TickTalk Publishing Presents
Available in E-book
format!
Only $9.99!
There’s not many guarantees in this life, but the TickTalk Publishers can assure you, that when you purchase this extraordinary outdoor book of incredible humor, you’ll never be able to find anything like this ANYWHERE ELSE! Because, it’s a Super, “ONE OF A KIND MASTERPIECE” of Wit and Humor for everyone who loves to breathe! No doubt to it, it’s a fitting collection of just about everything you could possibly imagine; to fit into your tent, into your back-pack, in your boat, into the office, your tackle box, your RV, onto your camper dash and into your briefcase! It’s so Special that you might even use it as a “Gift” to win favor with the Game Warden or in your negotiations with the Judge just before sentencing…IT’S THAT POWERFUL!
All This…And A Personal Phone-Book Too!
If you wish to be happy for one hour, get intoxicated.
If you wish to be happy for three days, get married.
If you wish to be happy for eight days, kill your goat and eat it.
If you wish to be happy forever…LEARN TO FISH!
Do You Want To Hear MORE About What This Publication Is Capable Of Accomplishing For You?
Attention: To begin with we would like to announce that this publication has been tested and approved to be Environmentally Safe! It will dissolve within 24 hours if lost at sea, 30 hours in a lake, we don’t know in a river, have never been able to recover anyone who dove over board with it. Some larger predatory fish species and several bears have been seen eating this booklet after devouring the reader and it has caused no ill effect as far as our scientists and technicians have been able to determine. We have learned that some birds have used it to line their nests; and in turn, have learned much about those strange creatures wandering the earth with long poles and funny hats. We have also been notified of its presence being found, still in near perfect condition on Mount Everest, and in many outdoor toilet facilities throughout the world; bringing pure relief and-or entertainment to all travelers. It has been certified to be safe reading, environmentally sound and was made from unfilled fishing tags, abandoned boats, recycled war machines, old growth money and used oil tankers!!
…Still More?
25 Things This Book Could And Will Do For You!
1. It will impress your friends and dazzle your enemies minds with Big Jokes and Tall Tales…as long as you buy one for them!
2. There are special pages within this book which can be used for writing survival notes or as toilet paper if necessary, just one more reason for carrying this Outdoor Manual around with you.
3. If you are lost, boat wrecked or freezing, you can start a fire with any of its pages, just use the Hottest Joke pages first and the book gives instructions on how to bring dry matches!! (Don’t Forget Them!)
4. If you’re sinking, or your wife is beating you, wave it to attract attention for your rescue and for your survival!
5. If you’re lost at sea, use it to write a final will or goodbye note to your lawyer or your family.
6. When the Game Warden catches you fishing without a license, offer it to him as a special, well, consideration?
7. Bring it home as a gift to your wife, if she is still there and delight her with meaningful moments of magic or some fine fishing humor… Huh!
8. Pass it on to your kids and let them learn how to read and increase their Knowledge of the Deeper Things In Life, for sure!
9. Roll it up and use it as a trumpet to blow for help when you are trapped in a tree by a mad moose or when you get lost in the fog!
10. Smack your guide with it and make sure he does not fall asleep on your hard paid time…WHAP!
11. Tie it on the tip of your pole as a flag of surrender when the Fish and Game Police get serious and pull their guns on your run away boat!
12. Use it to soak up oil or blood from gashes and wounds from sharp hooks which were stuck in your thumb or customers ear!
13. Use it as a basis for your psychology thesis on “How fishermen are changing Politicians MINDS!”
14. Line your boots and hat with torn out pages and keep yourself from FREEZING to death while waiting for the Big One!
15. Let THIS PUBLICATION prove to you that Fishing can be really a great thing to do if you’re a million dollar a month retired politician or your IQ borders on psychopathic urges!
16. Use it to swat away large swarms of flies, two pound mosquitoes or poke charging camels in the eye with it!
17. When all else goes wrong, you can always trade it for a Lucky Lure or for enough bait to make a few more casts.
18. When your charter flight home gets Hi-Jacked, read the jokes to your fellow passengers to bring some comfort to them; and frighten away the Bad Guys!
19. Threaten to read all the jokes over and over again, unless your Skipper takes you to a better fishing hole!
20. Once you make it home, and begin preparing your catch for the freezer, wrap your biggest fish in these pages, so you’ll be able to laugh again, when you go to cook it up.
21. It can be used as a hat, something to sit on, a pot holder, fire starter, a fan, a dish to eat off and a pillow when everything else was stolen or torn apart by bears!
22. Donate this book to your boss and inspire him with the gift of humor and promise him that you’ll never lie again about “being sick”, instead of showing up to the annual Award Conference!
23. Guides: Gift this Book to your customers after a hard days fishing for NOTHING and keep them happy until you get away or they come back!
24. This book will help you save money by slowly coming to the knowledge that the Government has sent all the fish over seas as fertilizer!
25. Allow these Great Works herein, to promote the HIGHEST RESPECT for fishing, no matter the Weather, the Cost or the Catch!
Now Let …The Fisherman’s Ultimate Guide-Book To Big Jokes and Tall Tales
Go To Work For You And For Other Worthy Humans, Thank You!
ONLY $9.99 for E-Book version
…You Want More…?
Ok, this Fun and Useful Book Guarantees EVERYONE
a very unique panorama of both the Outdoor and the Indoor Experience…
How About: The True Definition Of A Fishing And Sportsman SHOW?
FISHING and Sportsman SHOWS:
High intensity circus like atmospheres where masses of mentally challenged persons are collected and are forced to wonder aimlessly among decoys, traps, illusions and X-Fishermen, now making their way as pick pockets!
An organized concentration camp, where no one escapes without a debt or without a dent in their wallet!
A place where dreamers go and hope that they will wake up in heaven.
One of the biggest collections of liars, dreamers, schemers and city slickers ever assembled.
An enormous building which is filled to over flowing with “Bull Flingers,” “Escape Artists,” and the worlds most famous “Toy Makers” all disguised as Outdoor Enthusiasts and well meaning Sportsmen!
A convention organized to lure a million desperate people into a maze of enticements and suck their wallets dry while promising them thrills, chills, adventures and things called fish!
A place to spend money that neither you, nor your wife ever knew you had!
A special gathering where men go to hide from their wives and afterwards hide their purchases in the garage…from their wives!
A Gigantic LURE that pulls unsuspecting souls into its endless nets and never lets them go, NO, NOT EVER!
A seven day party that celebrates the memorial of fish by selling memorabilia of by gone days and the MYTH OF FISH…MAYBE!
Now and forever, you can keep all those Special Names and Numbers: Fish & Game numbers, Guides, Travel Agents, Lodges, Tackle Stores, RV Parks, Boat Rentals, New Friends and those Special Contact Numbers you have collected along the way in …ONE Convenient PLACE!
Laugh, Learn And Support The World Outdoor Experience!
Notice: When you Order this incredible book of Humor, Wit and Tale, you’ll not only be getting one of the greatest publications of its kind, but you’ll also be contributing something back towards the support and maintenance of our Fishing Hatcheries! We will contribute $2.00 from every purchase to the support and preservation of Hatcheries that might be in danger of being shut down due to budget cuts. We ask you to spread the word and help in keeping the World Outdoor Experience well and alive!
ONLY $9.99 for E-book version
The Book Of Opportunity!
Step right up and use this book to ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS, ANNOUNCE YOUR PRODUCT or PROMOTE YOUR ORGANIZATION! It’s easy, just Print out a Seal, a Sticker, a Label or a Specially Designed Add and place it onto this book and then Sell or Distribute it to your Clients and Customers. IT REALLY WORKS! IT LASTS FOR YEARS! IT IS READ OVER AND OVER! IT CANNOT BE PUT DOWN…NO MATTER HOW HARD SOMEONE TRIES!
If You, your Business or your Organization would like to DISTRIBUTE our materials for PROFIT or ADVERTISING purposes, please feel free to inquire with us. Any of our Publications can be distributed for ADVERTISING, for PROMOTIONS or strictly for PROFITS.
Only $9.99 for E-book version
Get this New, never before published Outdoor Humor Book IMMEDIATELY!
It’s simple and it’s easy to receive within minutes…
After you’ve downloaded The Fisherman's Ultimate Guidebook To Big Jokes & Tall Tales, please browse our latest releases in the TickTalk Bundle Library featured on our Home Page!
If you're searching for that EXTRA OOMPH in life, you’ve come to the right place! If you need something to “say” something to “laugh” at or your looking for that special moment of Insight or A Fresh Taste Of Humor, you must check out our 12 Incredible Humor Bundles. They have it all! Their a unique TREASURE in Themselves; just packed with IDEAS, NOVELTY, INSPIRATION, LAUGHS, OUTRAGE and something for every HUNGRY MIND!
You’ll find these Bundles back at the TickTalk Publishing HOME PAGE!
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