Double your troubles!
Dear Fellow Male Warriors of Survival!
I sneak this letter out to you my fellow male friends: It sounds like this letter is complaining and telling of woes, but this is for those who still possess their kingdoms and sit in their thrones but here goes any ways!
I am married to a very strong minded woman, a good woman, but like I say, strong minded! Do you really know what I mean by strong minded, well, this one can bend a huge steel beam at a hundred miles, all with a smile on her face! Now I have also been blessed with four wonderful daughters who like mother, follow suit in character, personality and exceptional strengths….they so far can only bend steel beams at fifty miles, but not with the same smiles! So you can see, that having five extraordinary women surround me I am often over whelmed with their opinions and instant votes which I have not granted. I keep announcing to them that this is not a democracy, but I first established a theocracy and my government has not yet been over thrown. at least this is what I keep telling these extraordinary and powerful minded women! Now this is enough to deal with but a totally greater factor plays a further role in my war with powers beyond my natural senses and it goes like this… Each of my fine daughters and my one lovely wife all possess SPLIT PERSONALITIES! Yes, I said SPLIT PERSONALITIES! Therefore my woes are doubled! I finally get my crowd control abilities functioning with my little crew and think I have things going in my direction when suddenly, for no reason other than a simple question by me the master, this metamorphous of character change takes place and within moments my entire control is vanquished to the wind! I suddenly find myself dealing with another five personalities and there appears ten never before known minds rushing to and fro expressing their opinions and making their demands. It is difficult enough for me to hold my ship on course with five powerful characters, but it is impossible for me to stand alone against ten minds let loose in women’s bodies. I stand no chance with ten, and barely can exist with my normal five, so now I plea to the readers of this narrative, hopefully my fellow men friends.
Please do not tell me your innocent troubles with your wife who seems to be somewhat dominant. Hey dear friend, you want dominant, you want to see real raw power and opinion mixed into ten brains, ten hearts and five thousand pounds of emotions all at once? try having a family discussion with ten rebels and over throwers of my once peaceful theocracy! Tell me dear friend about your one little peaceful wife who might make some flea like demand on your mighty domain, go ahead and just overwhelm me with some trivial complaint about car wrecks or 3000 dollar bounced checks, and I will grant you the privilege of sitting in on just one of our family meals.
It somehow seems that these five personalities plot their revolution at the family meal. They bring me around with delicious smells, courteous pleas and joyous singing, beckoning me to the slaughter. I humbly arrive at my honored position and am allowed to begin my meal but just as I begin to partake in my needed nourishment, somehow the tables are turned and ten woman of various strengths and curious demands appear before me.
I am trapped there, sitting with a delicious meal just waiting for me but now the woes of womanhood and democracy take over and my domain crumbles into new departments of allocation, not approved by me, nor my bank account! If I for some reason begin to express my opinion and remind them of who the president might have once been, no mercy is shown on my plea among the powers of greater opinions. By the time the votes are tallied, I sit totally defeated but thoroughly fed. They allow me to exit with dignity, only so that I might return another day for a further thrashing by their stone mill minds. Now and then I do hold my own, but this only brings a greater fear upon my feeble attempts to steer the ship of captains. This alarm is that their personalities will once again split and become twenty in order to gain back lost territory! Don’t think this is impossible, for I have witnessed this incredible occurrence on several of their special plots! I actually had to run for my life and ended up fishing for two weeks in Alaska!
So now dear friends of many sons, one wife and the head of your democracy, take compassion on my own attempts to remain sane and sound, under such straining odds. Now you know why it appears that I am a tyrant for men’s rights, I fight for you, because the battle is already lost for me. But in all good terms, my ten minds are thoughtful enough, at least on their good days to let me have some respect in the outside world but believe me, behind the scenes, They keep me locked away and only bring me out at meal times to have their fun and to exercise and strengthen their other halves. I have only spoken unto you half the woes, you do not know the far reaches of my plight, especially when the event of PMS {Punish My Spouse} arrives. But since this is an on going event among the ten minds of revolution, I will speak of it in another letter, if I live to see that day!
Please do not let them see this note, for they will not feed me for at least a week! Hey, send me hundred dollar bills in order to carry on the fight for your rights and to hold my own! Remember always, your humble fighter for your rights…count your blessings now, dear friends, as I once counted mine! O well, I guess I didn’t really want a theocracy any ways!
Your Captive Friend of Male Rights!
PS Send all correspondence, checks and support for the fight, to Alaska for the next three months! I will be preparing a new front for the battle of our rights!
Contact Author: michael@ticktalk.net
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