Bumper Stickers and Their Poetic Contribution

Don't laugh! Shakespeare got most his ideas off the back of Donkey Carts!

Now here's true Poetry in motion…!

Who says you can't find any good Poetry around these days?

Here goes…

"Cover me dear. I'm changing lanes."

"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools"

"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon"

"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."

"I love cats...they taste just like chicken"

"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."

"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... ...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."

"Montana --- At least our cows are sane!"

"The gene pool in California could use a little chlorine."

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"

"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you, Watch Out!"

"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."

"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."

"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"

"Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all its students!"

"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."

"Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!"

"Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!"

"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."

"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."

"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."

"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."

"He who laughs last thinks slowest"

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy."

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."

"I souport publik edekasion"

"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."

"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."

"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock."

"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."

"I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die."

"I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening."

"Unless you're a hemorrhoid, then GET OFF MY Behind!"

"All generalizations are false."

"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."

Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle."

"Born Free . . . . . Taxed to Death"

"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

"Conserve toilet paper, use both sides."

"REHAB is for quitters"

"I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!"

"All men are Idiots, and I married their King!"

"E. coli Happens"

"Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician"

"SAVE A TREE: Eat a beaver"

"Work is for people who don't know how to fish"

"Sex is a misdemeanor . . . the more I miss it, the meaner I get!!"

"Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus."

"Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition."

"If you don't like the news, go out and make some."

"I Brake For No Apparent Reason…here goes!"

"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

"Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.!"

"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."

"Wink, I'll do the rest!"

"No Radio - Already Stolen"

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."

"Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges."

"When there's a will, I want to be in it!"

"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"

"Few women admit their age, few men act it!"

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"

"Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!"

"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!"

"Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist."

"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got."

"Which came first? The woman or the department store?"

"LAWYER: A cat settles a dispute between 2 mice."

"LOVE: two vowels, two consonants, two fools."

"According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist."

"Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill."

"Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have."

"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."

"How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am"

"First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering..."

"Save Water - Take a bath with your neighbor's daughter"

"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?"

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."

"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder..."

"2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."

"Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself."

"Eschew obfuscation."

"Today, I'm one Fruit-Loop shy of a full bowl and tomorrow ain't looking so good either!"

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

** On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

** On a Pizza delivery van, slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

** At a tire shops in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

** On a towing truck: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

** On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."

** At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,

you've come to the right place."

** On a fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

** In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

** At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your

bill. However, if you don't, you will be De-Lighted."

** In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Okay, that's enough for now, thanks to all our "Behind the Wheel Poets" and don't think that these slogans on sticky paper didn't make money for someone. As long as there'll be cars, boats, planes, buses, taxies, donkey carts and bumpers, you can be assured that someone is making MONEY…Why Not You?

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